man flu - the true facts!

Man Flu - The Facts...

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable
scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the
germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of
people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man
caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone
book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary
groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable
pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place m uch quicker if their
simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met.
Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and
lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of
bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading
this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this
> sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of
full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head
literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and
The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting
'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on
a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around
enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact
that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has
remarkable soothing powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu.
Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some
kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just
maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together